Soakin' Up Life . . . at a 100 MPH!

I haven't posted anything in a couple of days - I've been sick and tired. Not that I'm sick and tired, but I am sick (sinus infection) and I've been tired. When I get home all I want to do is to lay on the couch and and sleep. Speaking of laying on the couch - what is it about women that makes them want to talk, requiring that we men listen AND respond to themas soon as we get home? When I come home I don't want to have to respond to anything. My wife and my mother are very similar. For some reason when I get home they come to the den and begin to talk to me. I don't want to sound mean or anything, but the only thing I want to hear is a voice that doesn't require me to respond. To respond means that I must understand what is being said to me. Therefore, I must hear it, process it, formulate a response, then express that response. Sorry ladies. I DO NOT want to respond as soon as I come in the door! Now I love Karen and I love my mother, but ladies,...

By now you have probably figured out that time on the road for me is simply time to get from point A to point B - as quickly as possible. This leads me to another pet pieve - cell phones and driving. What happens when someone places there cell phone next to their head while they are driving? I'm not sure, but something definitely happens. It is called CPDI - Cell Phone Driving Interference I'm not sure of all the causes of CPDI. Maybe the signal interferes certain physiological functions within the brain. Regardless of what actually happens, you rest assured something definitely happens. I do know that those who suffer from CPDI suddenly loose all ability to drive a car and carry on a conversation on a cell phone at the same time. I also know it is more likely to happen when a cell phone is placed upon the ear, next to the brain. Now hear me and hear me well, if this is you - STOP IT! The rest of us are tired of your inability to do both at the same time. Get treatment!! Let me...

I just returned from hanging with my friend and brother, Stacey, in Humble, Texas (a northern suburb of Houston). We had a great time of worship and sharing last night during worship with his students. Stacey is the Director of Wildlife for Fusion Student Ministries at Humble Area's First Baptist Church . So I was coming back today. Now I have made the drive on Hwy 59 many times - to see Stacey and his family, to shop and eat, and to take Karen to the doctor. If there's one thing I have learned over the years it is that if you travel on Hwy 59 and I'm on it - speed up or get over. If there's one thing that drives me crazy it's getting behind someone in the left lane of the highway and having to slow down. If you drive in the left lane you had better be passing someone else. Why else would you be in that lane? I don't get it. It happens all the time - people driving in the left lane, holding up traffic, and frustrating all who are speeding merrily along. Look, I...

Whooaaa! Before you go into contortions, I am not twisting off on another word thing. I'm really asking the question, "Why is student ministry so much more fun that adult ministry?" Don't get me wrong, I love what I do - working with adults - but the friends that I have in student ministry are always talking about how much fun they are having. I have one friend, Stacey, whose office is painted black with flourescent black lights. How cool is that? If I did that I would have adults afraid to come into my office. When did ministry for adults stop being fun? Who decided we were supposed to act "grown up"? I love to laugh. I love pranks - even when I am the one being pranked. But somebody decided at some point in time that adult ministry was supposed to be done in hushed tones and somber discussions. Forget that! I want laughter and fun and smiles and ice-cream and movies. I want the black office and all the cool stuff. Anyway . . . ministry, regar...

Why? Ever wonder what this little, three-letter word means. According to Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary it means, "for what cause, reason, or purpose." But who came up with this? Who determined that these three letters placed in this order would come to mean "for what cause, reason, or purpose?" I imagine it was some 2-year old walking around behind his parents some hundred, or maybe thousands of years ago driving them craze by repeating this phrase to every answer they could think of. If you're a parent you know what I'm talking about. Ok, I'll admit that there's probably not a lot of people wondering this same thing. As a matter of fact there are some of you thinking, this very moment, Mike has waaayyy too much time on his hands. But think about, there are lot of other little words that we use and haven't you ever wonder where they came from and how they got to mean what they mean? How? . . . What? . . . Huh? . . . Who? . . .

OK, before I get started I just want to say that I love horses. I came so very close to buying one a few years ago. With that said, what is all the hoopla for a 2-minute race? The Kentucky Derby ran Saturday. I love to watch horses run, especially those who have trained and made it to one of the greatest and most historic races in our country. It's exciting and any horse at any given time can win. This year a 50-1 longshot named Giacomo came from behind to beat the favored Bellamy Road . It was a great race to the very end. But . . . what is up with all the hype, promo, and all-day coverage. It's like because the event itself - the thing everyone tunes in to watch - is only 2 minutes long the networks think they have to make up for it by covering it and all its "instricacies." This is crazy! I don't care about the betting - I have the internet. I don't care about what everyone is wearing - I'm sitting in shorts and a t-shirt. I don't care who shows...

I got a new wallet the other day (thanks Mom) and began the effort of moving things over from ol' faithful to the new one. Now, my wallet is pretty small - enough to get some cards in there. I don't carry pictures of anyone, I don't carry a bunch of stuff I don't need. So I didn't have much to switch, but Guys - have we ever stopped to look at the stuff we put in our wallets? Where does this stuff come from? There were things I could swear was put there by the wallet gnomes, because I don't remember EVER putting these things in there. I had receipts, membership cards to places I don't remember ever joining or haven't been to in I don't know how long, and punch cards to places I can't remember ever getting punched. Man! I don't know about you, but I can't complain anymore about the black holes my wife uses to keep her things in. Side Note: Speaking of wallets - what's up with those guys who carry these things that are so big...

I'm watching Leno with my wife and a friend of ours. And what doth before my eyes appear? Leno's Jaywalking Allstars! Have you seen these people? I mean, come on!! Don't they know we are NOT laughing with them, we are laughing AT them? This isn't rocket science. It couldn't be. We would be here all night. What kind of life do these guys live where they don't recognize people in the news, public eye, or in our government (I'm talking about the President - it's true. I've seen it.)? The ironic thing is I bet everyone one of them has a cell phone and know how to use every feature on it. They probably can IM 10 people at one time. And who knows what else. Wait, they'll be back tomorrow. Same bat-time, same bat-channel. Can't wait. MS

Went to the chiropractor today. After the doc gets everything back in line they hook me up to a T.E.N.S. Unit . A TENS unit is machine that sends electrical impulses to little electrodes they hook up to parts fo your body - guys, don't go there! Anyway . . . they have been using the TENS Unit on me for quite a while, recently the doc has the techs moving the electrodes further up on my back. Not a bad deal until they begin running the electrical impulses through. Oh my! Oh my! Oh my! They adjust the strength of the impulses to my liking - a good thing - except I like it pretty high. Since they have moved the electrodes I have some strange feelings in my shoulders and in my arms. The tech has put the eclectrodes on or near nerves. So when I get the unit up to the strength of my likin' my arms or shoulders begin twitchin like a frog in a high school biology experiment. You know the one I'm talking about! Yeah, the one where you disect the frog and hook up electrical wires an...