What do you really mean?

One of the things that has caught my ear (and my mind - I know, it's a sick one) is what people say. Often times we say or write things that I question. I ask, "Is that what they really mean?", or "As opposed to. . .?"

Think about it for a moment. Here are some things I've read or heard recently that made me wonder what they were thinking:

1) Full-gospel church - like the rest of us only preach half of the gospel - still wondering about this one.

2) Imitation suede/leather - why don't they just say it's real (authentic) fake stuff

3) Speed checked by radar - as opposed to checking with a watch? Isn't this how law enforcement monitors our speed - OK, I was in Lousiana when I saw this one?

4) Classis Rock - what they're really trying to say is that real rock music has been relegated to the "oldies" but not the really old stuff (50's) - man, I'm starting to feel old now

5) Partly cloudy - as opposed to partly sunny? After thinking about this one, I have to give them some credit - the sun is shining all the time anyway so it's always sunny, we just can't see it because it's "partly cloudy"

6) A little turbulence - why don't pilots just come on out and say it, "It's going to be a wild ride!"? Turbulence is turbulence - the plane is getting jostled around in the air. I've been flying since I was 3 months old - so I should know!

7) "My kid can beat up your honor student" - We all know what this really means - my kid can't pass the second grade so he's going to be BMOC by picking on your kid - I could go in all sorts of directions with this one - you know what I'm thinking

8) Smooth Jazz - as opposed to rough jazz? I love jazz, blues, etc. So I'm not picking on the style of music (I'm listening to it now on my TV), but let's be honest what would it sound like if it wasn't "smooth"?

I would like to know if you have anything like these or would like to comment on the ones I have posted. If you find a sign or hear someone say something that makes you wonder what they really mean post it hear. I would love to read it.

Remember these are NOT oxymorons ("civil war", "military intelligence", etc.) these are phrases or signs or bumber stickers that have "hidden" meanings.

I want to know!!

See ya (when, where, maybe, for sure - what's Mike really mean?)

Mike